Petra-Gate

Sorry for how long this took! It was actually written 2 days ago, but I forgot to post it.

We open in Betty’s room, early morning. There are noises and then Hilda falls in through the window. Screaming ensues. Anyway, big sis was out with Santos doing I-don’t-want-to-know-what. Betty’s still mad at everyone, but Hilda tells her to buck up at steal stuff. Ah, truer words. . .

Anyway, if I didn’t want to know about Hilda and Santos, I really don’t want to know about Wili and Bradford, especially since the latter is a total horn dog. He’s always not looking forward to being an ass to Alexis again. Then fuck off, jerk.

Back at Mode, Daniel is dealing with the mother of Petra, who told him she was sixteen just as he was going to sleep with her. Now that’s pushing it, UB. Anyway, witch woman treats Petra like shit but wants her on the cover- and only the cover. Money and corner pictures won’t cut it. And then she takes her poor, hungry child for a club soda. I hate this business.

Betty arrives and tells herself to suck it up as she goes to face her boss. It’s just a job, which, of course, it’s not. So she gives him his messages (he left his pants somewhere. Damn, slutty, ADHD Daniel) and ignores his puppy eyes. She’s not gonna give him a chance just yet- and good for her.

Not so much to Wili, who’s starting to get annoyed by 24-hour-a-day Bradford. Gee, whoever thought sleeping with your boss to get the job he already denied you while pissing off his awesome and alcoholic wife could go wrong? But never mind, she thinks it’s her only choice, and so gets Marc to switch the pills. Marc also points out that Wili *should* be worrying about Claire. Which is good advice, really.

Just so we can get all the Meades in, here’s Alexis. With daddy again, who gives her a big-ass check that she can keep if she goes away forever. There goes Father of the Year. Alexis tells him she won’t rest until she gets revenge. Yeah, it’s cliché, but can you blame her? And she stalks off.

Out in the lobby, Amanda tells Betty she has messages from Christina and Henry, but Betty still has no time for Christina, and no reason- yet to wait for Henry. Amanda likes this side of her. So do I. As Betty leaves, a stylish young black guy enters. He snaps his fingers. Amanda likes this, too.

Suarez home! Ignacio’s almost home free, so Justin thinks they should have a party with a fence at the door. Hee! Hilda comes down, needing to get to her cosmetology school. She tries to get away with lying about Santos, but fails miserably. Ignacio scolds her, and she grumbles about the freedom she’ll have when she’s 40.

Back outside Mode now, Betty is run up a bit by Petra as she goes to get a bagel for Daniel. When did your boss become so picky, Betty? Anyway, Charlie and Henry arrive, and just in cast we couldn’t tell, Charlie tells us they’re fighting. Well, that’s okay, but trying to bring Betty into said fighting isn’t, so off she runs and off we follow. . .

Right onto the elevator. Like Betty’s day wasn’t awkward enough yet, Christina shows up. Our heroine tries to flee again, only to be trapped in the lobby with Daniel, Henry, and Christina all approaching- in period dress, nonetheless. Poor Betty gives all up, drops the bagel and runs. And finally, finally, a commercial break.

Alexis is holding a meeting at Mode. Daniel walks in and presents a picture of Petra, a la Emeril. There is bickering in which Daniel acts like a loon and Alexis says no way to a toothpaste girl being a cover girl. Justin’s getting his hair done by Hilda at her school so her can get out of gym. This is where Betty, on the run, finds them. Hilda asks the obvious, Betty whines, and Hilda sits her down for some “hairapy” Oh, word play! Meanwhile, Amanda’s fab flirt-friend is trying to get Wilihelmina to see his designs. Marc helps us see that his efforts fair. But Mandy’s there too and she actually feels sorry for him. So she hooks him up and her hooks her up- with a jacket. Amanda would do him if she were gay. The creative director of Mode Brazil, too- at least if Marc hadn’t gotten there first. She shows her jacket of to Wili, who likes it and is pleased to find out “Marc” gave Tavares a calendar date. Meanwhile, Mr. Director- named Rodreigo- hits on Alexis, who looks at him all flustered and really seems nothing like the same woman who pushed her brother in a frozen lake.Meanwhile, Betty’s still complaining and Hilda’s doing the nod she has to even if she’s not listening- don’t worry, she is. And she says Betty’s too hard on her friends. Justin agrees, and a name is brought up, much to Betty’s displeasure. At Mode again, Henry finds Daniel and asks about that big-ass check he was gonna be using as a bargaining chip. But Daniel tells Henry he can have the check back- it won’t be needed in prison. Insert dramatic moment here.

So, who’s Trina DePaulo? (The dropped name that upset Betty) She’s Betty’s ex best friend, who was going to skip the prom with her until she got a call from a boy. Hilda, for what it’s worth, loved her prom. It gave her Justin. But Betty sees her night in a really twisted Carrie-fantasy. Which doesn’t line up with reality at all. Justin says she’s “so theater”. And as Betty had to eat with the lunch ladies from then on, he could be right. Speaking of spilling guts (Yes. We were.), Daniel’s dumped everything on Henry, who’s understandably gobsmacked but realizes they both miss Betty (aww). Daniel realizes that totally screwing himself over might have been, upon reflection, a bad idea. And Henry, poor naïve Henry, thinks Alexis will give Daniel aid. *snort* Well, she won’t, but Amanda will give Tavares advice. In exchange for free clothes. This is going somewhere. Perhaps where Rodrigo wants to go with Alexis, asking her out for dinner. That means Alexis’s first time. . .you know. Her first. Time.

We’re still with Alexis when she gets back. Poor, desperate, Daniel, is trying to win her sympathies with the facts. And getting nowhere, of course. If he wants Petra, he has to quit. She’s a bitch, but we knew that already. But hey, guess, what, it’s Santos! He’s having a sandwich with Ignacio. Things are plesent- for about five secons, but then dad brings up the year his daughter was left alone and pregnant. He gives the usual speech, telling Santos to walk away now if he doesn’t want a future. Santos gets up and walks away. Alexis again. She’s brought Redrigo to her office and is again in loveable mode (no pun intended) with telling him she wants to go out now and being told it’s nice to see her laugh cause she usually looks sad. Anyway, seems this guys quite the charmer, and doesn’t care about her past. We’ll see. Betty steps into Chrstina’s neck of the fashion-magazine woods and scribbles out a note about sundaes. No, no, it’s about wanting to talk to her, and it’s hard to write. But a sundae really would be nice. No would straightening out that wild half-curl of hair left from Hilda’s dressing attempts. Enter Henry, who is surprised to see her and thinks it must be because of Daniel, and cue Betty’s complete confusion.

And now Betty has apparently been filled in because she is walking in and dragging Daniel into his office. She confronts him about last night and he appoligizes. Good, she tells, him because she needs to tell him when he screws up. Oh, and by the way- sixteen! She understands he didn’t know, of course, but still- sixteen! Amanda and Tavares are at it, sorting through his designs. He lets her try something on, and she, figuring he’s gay so it won’t matter, strips in front of him. Oh yeah. And oh no, he’s not thinking about Matt Damon. The romance continues with Hilda waiting for Santos, who’s a bit late and getting Ignacio suspicious. But he shouldn’t be- really shouldn’t be- because Santos not only shows up, but shows up with a ring. Oh yeah, we’re going places.

Or are we? When we come back, Hilda brings Justin downstairs and shows him the ring but asks him whether the should say yes. Justin tells her she should decide for herself, not him. Why can’t all kids be like Justin? He’s a much better family member than Alexis, who remains cold over him- though there is a moment in her eyes after he tells her to always let Betty have a job. But as far as Henry and Betty can see, she’s heartless- not at all kind soap-opera mom-like, Henry informs us. God, he’s cute even if he is too cute. Petra and Mommy show up, much to the chagrin of the geek pair. Much glowering happens, especially when Petra starts to smoke. Hey wait! Only 18 year olds can buy the cigarettes Petra bought outside! This is significant! Betty grabs her purse and breaks the tense Meade meeting into shambles with it. Petra is actually- wait! No, that’s not right. It’s her mom’s purse. An escape seems inevitable, but then! Henry snatches the right purse! Petra is of age! Daniel rips apart the contract he was going to have to sign in from of Alexis! And Betty and Henry twirl! Oh, happy day! Um, almost. We turn a little, to see Charlie staring at them. Back with Mandy and Tav. She wonders if she turned him straight. Nah, he just needs to pretend to be to get work. He wishes he could keep doing what he just did with Amanda. And why not? Gay designer by say, great sex by night- and more clothes, too! If you want more R-rated stuff, Alexis goes to Rodrigo saying she’s had a long day. So they’re gonna make themselves feel better, if you catch my drift. Even if he can tell it’s her first time as a man. Hilda and Santos are slightly more tender. Except that she’s apparently told him know, for her own sake but his heartbreak. But after he leaves, she changes her mind. He’s waiting at the door, they kiss, and fluffy love is awesome.

Alexis and Rodrigo are in bed, and completely at random, he invites her overseas with him. She considers it, especially when he mentions her family as something to get away from. Agh, this is fucked. But maybe not so much because Daniel tells Betty they should celebrate with champagne. Seems he’s not learning his lesson. But he’s also convering up for a load of shit. Betty then goes to Christina, who is very sorry and wants to make up for it. Maybe they aren’t quite there, but almost. But this isn’t dramatic enough a note for the show to end on. Hey, guess what? Rodrigo isn’t all he seemed. Turns out Bradford, with Wili’s advice, hired him to seduce poor, loney Alexis, and get her out of his hair. Remember that trip? Okay, I lied. Happiness comes again as Hilda shows Betty her new ring back at home and they start to make plans. But wait, no. No, I didn’t lie. Ignacio comes downstairs, upset. All those well-made plans fell through and he’s been sent out of the States. Noooo, Papi, noooo! And why, Ugly Betty?! Why?!